FIRST POST

Hey there, 
At first let me explain the Name of my Blog. In all my social Networks I have the Username "lullabad" which is a derivation of "lullaby" but it has something bad in it, like everything has. So i try to be talking about the bad in the security that is plugged into the "lullaby" part, and how we need to think outside our comfort zone even if it feels like it makes something bad come up. In the name of my blog The word "blog" takes the part of the "bad" because I want to talk about things outside my comfort zone.
I was wondering if I should do this blog in German or in English. But i feel way better with expressing myself in English so i'm gonna do it like this. I hope you won't stop reading my Blog because of my English, that, of course, is not as well as if I was a native Speaker. But hey, i'm heading right to my Finals and it will help me I guess.
So, I am not doing this to get better grades in English but just simply for Blogging. I was already blogging before, but on another URL. I just feel like i am at a point of inflection and need to raise something new. On my other Blog i got very inactive, because I first needed to find out what to want from life and from fashion, art and also my from blogging. 
I just used to be a young creative teenager with the soul of a tortured artist inside of her and yeah, so on the first Post on this Blog i want to quote the queen of blogging:

"Be happy instead of putting pressure on yourself to be some tortured artist" -Tavi Gevinson at the Sydney Opera House

So I really found some kind of peace. It still feels like some kind of a fragile peacefulness but Meditating helps. It's a Progress and not a thing that works from one day to another. I still feel the hate inside me sometimes, especially when i'm in school and was studying till 2 am, and had just a small amount of sleep and thats also when i start feeling troubeled and feel like everybody is staring at me and then it's very hard to be positive towards others, i am working on it very hard though, but i then i get really insecure and tend to close up myself, but in school it still feels like it is embarrassing if others know my weaknesses.

But this Blog isn't about spirituality. Well, maybe a bit, but it's about me and I am, in the first place, a person, and humans are not just a "one themed blog". 
I say this because when i had my last blog, it was very hard to keep it up, because it was simply just a Fashionblog and even though Fashion is like 99% of my life, i can't always write about it. I tend to be very philosophic and it concerns me a lot how to connect Arts like Fashion, Literature, Art itself, Philosophy, Maths, and these things to an essence of everything and how to live in the best way. 
This makes my mind racing all the Time and I just want to Blog about what I experience.

Getting back to Fashion, I think it is much deeper than how most Fashionbloggers  write about it and that makes me somehow uncomfortable. I opine to be responsible to give you an idea my Fashion World in this Blog, even though I won't be able to put all of my thoughts in here. This will make me mad but at least i will have tried. 

So I started with showing that i am not perfect, what made my last Blog fail, so I hope this Blog will be what I need and maybe some will even read it! 

Stay true, xoxo lullabad!